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My Confusion

I hate being confused


October 15th, 2008

(no subject) @ 07:30 pm

Its amazing to see how things change in life and how far people just are. I was just talking with my ex and you know sometimes I realize how much I loved him and how much I’ll always love him because he was the first love of my life and someone that ment so much to me. Now however I am so thankful that God took him out of my life he is just beyond insane with ideas and it really hurts to see how much hate he has its just insane. Another thing I don’t get is how guys lie to girls we were talking about maybe going on a double date because I remembered how much fun I had when I was with him so I was like hmm double date sounds good but how can I be around someone who doesn’t know the truth. He wouldn’t have the balls to tell her that he and I use to date because she’d be too jealous that’s ridiculous grow up!!! So yet again my blog comes to Jason. I am so thankful that God put him in my life. he is just so wonderful. He knows me he knows my past and I mean he knows details he probably never wanted to know but I’m 100% honest with him I tell him everything. Its just beyond words how thankful I am for him and when ever a doubt could possible enter my mind or I see someone and think they are attractive or what not the first thought in my head is they will never treat me like Jason they will never be able to give me what he is going to be able to give me. For pete’s sake he is going to go to med school!!! Granted I might now have everything that I want right now in our relationship, like a marriage license or kids but I know these things will come when the lord says its right to be so. I don’t know I just needed to rant and get my feelings out because it just hurts talking to some people and I just miss Jason so much. I hate us being apart for school. I wish he’d come here but he is getting better schooling where he is and I have to be in Lafayette for nursing school it just sucks some times. Only 2 and a half more years then we can be together forever!!!

Probably more blog to come because there was more on my mind but I forgot when I started typing
 

July 11th, 2008

(no subject) @ 08:00 am

i'm coming home from paris i'm coming home from paris!!!!! 6 weeks is a long time to be away from home!!!
 

March 6th, 2008

long time no rant @ 10:29 am

goodness where do i start. . . . and how do i hold back the tears. . . . . okay here is the story

okay so in dec i texted quinn to tell him i got into nursing clinicals cuz i knew he would be proud of me and tell good job and all of that jazz well i never got a response from him so for the past what 3 months i've been kind of trying to get in touch with him cuz i didn't get that response and i got worried well his phone hasn't been working so i'm like okay and every now andd then i would try to find him on myspace or facebook ya know cuz at one point in time he did mean so very much to me well today i found his myspace so i got excited ya know so i'm looking at his page them boom it hit me like 5 tons of bricks!!!!!!!!! Quinn is engaged!!!!!!!!!! wth okay so i shouldn't care and it shouldn't bother me cuz i'm no longer with him and never want to be with him. . . . . seriously if god means so much to me how can i be with some one who says god is dead to them but when i saw this that he was engaged i got really sad then i held back the tears until i called my mom to tell her and ask her why i was having this response. . . . i still don't know why i'm having this response mom said it might be cuz his mom didn't accept me and accepts this girl, because he was my first love, i don't know i'm kind of like okay i love jason so much why does this bother me is it cuz i so desperatly want to marry jason? thats the only thing i can think of. . . .am i jelous cuz i wish it was me engaged i just don't know i don't understand its driving me nuts-o i don't know i really believe its jelousy because its not jason and i, its quinn and some other girl . . . . . i don't know but yea thats all for now cuz i'm about to start crying


l8er
 

February 13th, 2008

(no subject) @ 03:34 pm

woot woot i passed my nursing test today!!!!!!!!!!!
 

February 6th, 2008

(no subject) @ 06:26 pm

we did it we did it
 

October 30th, 2007

(no subject) @ 04:37 pm

I LOVE HIM . . . . . what can i say








yea so this and the 18 hour semester i have this semester has been taking up all my time sorry for not posting updates
 

October 15th, 2007

(no subject) @ 08:53 pm

well here is an update since its been so long

school is going pretty good excpet for my nutrition class its a beast hopefully i am going to do better on the test in that class tomorrow

jason and i are still together and we are doing GREAT but it sucks that i don't get to see him that much since he is in new orleans and i am in lafayette but october is off limits unless i show up at the haunted house so needless to say i've made a few apperances at the haunted house which makes melanie his ex super pissed i really feel bad for the girl how can she be so jealous i mean i don't think i have anything to be jelous of but what ever i'll jsut have to pray for her cuz i know she is miserable and it makes me sad
well to further elaborate that she got supper pissed saturday and friday nights when i was there and i wasn't really there for long well saturday night a few friends and i stayed and hung out and waited for them to close so we can hang out for roby's birthday (roby is one of jason's friends from the haunted house) and she got so mad that she wouldn't come by anyone her and her new guy stayed in the back yard (so her new guy is the guy she screwed when she was with jason which is the final reason they broke up) gosh i feel like i'm back in belle chasse with all the drama heck i think this is worse than belle chasse drama lol

oh well just wanted to give yall some 411
oh by the way i start training tomorrow at logan's roadhouse in lafayette to be a waitress!!!!!! i'm nervous and excited!!!!!!
 

September 14th, 2007

(no subject) @ 12:57 pm

i love being happy and almost in love hehe i'm such a dork i know but hey we've all known that for a long time hehe :D
 

August 30th, 2007

(no subject) @ 10:14 pm

oh how i love being back at school i met some awesome new people today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah for back to school
 

July 10th, 2007

redneck quiz @ 03:24 pm

You Are 60% Redneck

You're just about as welcome up in town as a hair in a biscuit.
Ain't no hidin' your redneck roots!
 

My Confusion

I hate being confused